Grief Massage what an unusual name…. massage for grief, whatever for?? As caregivers you wear many hats. The caregiver is usually thrust into that role without any consulting, asking, warning. Now your in charge of the one that gave you life, or the one that you promised to share your life with and grow old together.
The job is hard, and consistent, with very little down time. This job is ever changing because the loved one, the Caregiver is caring for is no longer the person that raised you or the one you fell in love with, they are the person you take care of; no less is the love or the commitment, it’s just different.
When I mention Grief, you may question in your mind, am I grieving? I would say yes… grieving for the life you were suppose to have.. the memories you were suppose to make…the adventures you were suppose to share.
In the early days, weeks, months since the Loved Ones diagnosis you may not realize the sleep deprivation, always “on”, lack of time, worry, anger, frustration, guilt. Friends don’t come by as often the phones calls also decrease, even from relatives (kids or siblings included). So, yes, I would say grieving is very real but what to do about it?
Grief Massage is different from Goal Oriented massage that the public is more familiar with, Grief Massage is a gentle massage that honors YOUR process and staying out of it. The process of grief massage is allowing you a safe place to collapse on a massage table that is dressed in warm , cozy linen with a plush blanket, if needed, cushy spa socks, soothing music and no harsh lighting. What makes this massage so unique is you don’t have the stress of having to drive, because I come to you. I set the area of your choice that makes YOU most comfortable. (This may include staying dressed). If you are more comfortable with keeping your clothes on, that will be honored. Long gentle sweeping strokes with light compression to areas that are chosen by YOU. If you are in a place that you can only handle you feet and calves massaged, it’s honored. Same for neck and shoulders or low back. YOU’RE in control.
Grief Massage does NOT fix grief
Grief Massage does NOT cure grief
Grief Massage does NOT release grief
The massage therapist will hold space for the client, right where they are on the day of the session, with no desire to cure or fix, but just hold space.
You may have come across people that encourage you to “get out”, join a support group, get away for a few days… I say this- celebrate YOUR achievements, if you took a shower and washed your hair- Win. If you picked up the dirty clothes off the floor- Win. If you went grocery shopping- WIN WIN.
I know grief. I lost my 11 year old son in 2000 and 3 years later lost my dad, the difference, is physical deaths and just as painful. I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s and that death was different, because there was grief everyday for what was and then wouldn’t be, the inability to “fix it”. The job of the caregiver needs awareness, but also needs to be honored.